just a note

you got to sit and guess what? listen to my intresting love story.

2011-03-22T09:27:00.003+08:00

Up there is my frens, my close fren and my beloved boyfriend.
Butt right now im very hurt and no one is here to help me.
His there to help butt i don't feel good about it.
Yes,i'm a bad gf who had difficulty expressing my love towards you.
You're my longest boyfriend and i love you.
To be honest my love for you never, let it make you clear NEVER fade.
I said that because something struck. Something happen. Butt,i love you.

I'm trying my best to put up everything.
Butt im afraid right now if something might happen and he will leave me.. :(

hey,u might not know how much you meant to me.
BUTT you are like another part of me.
im just so comfortable being around you..
If you know that you are special thank god.
I dont want to be like our friends.
Our history is special to me. and now is more special to me.
haix,im talking otp with my fren, and i really cant concentrate...
butt i love you la.. pls understand that.
take note!

Okay she hung up on me coz i kept quiet all the way..
haaaa. i cant think.

1st thing im not going to jeopardise my relationship for a third party.
2nd thing im not proud butt this is the truth. at the age of 16 i broke off with my ex. and till i met him i was single except that dating around with guys which is my frens or someone ive never met. almost every night i will hang around be home late night. going to JB which i know that guy is a pervert who will do something to me and still i took the risk and went there with him. i went out with different guy. seeing how hurt i am when i saw you with her. i nearly got into a relationship coz i thought i would never got to be with you, and that guy is habibullah. butt. i simply cant get my mind out of you. yes the feeling wasnt there but the hope is there. i got to know different guys, which different attitude. one which wanted to hold my hand,kiss my even im with scarf,ask me home for pizza,went jb and try to hug me. butt,none managed coz they are just not like you. do you know that?
You take good care of me. Caring,scolded me with my FBT shorts,and we made a good soccer partner. u respect me when i said no hanky panky. butt the others didnt.

And what makes you more special is that i put on my scarf after 2 years i took it off.you like it this way. and im glad that i found someone that could accept me with scarf and didnt take advantage of me. butt that was then. i love you.

change for a new..

2010-12-27T15:28:00.002+08:00

Hey, long since i update my blog.
I'm kinda of free right now so ya.. thought of checking you guys out.
Psst. im missing my bf badly right now.
Butt he dosent seem to be awake.
He went to Malaysia for two days & still havent met him yet.
Dosent matter,im working too. Butt,now is like 1530hrs & his sleeping like a Pig.
hmmm,benci.

Okay @ work now.
Not now from morning.
Felt asleep wake up abg bought me food & i makan.
Boss sleeping. Feeling tired. So,im the boss.
Such a pity he got Lung Cancer. :(
My previous patient went back to Myanmar.

I wonder i got all the good things in this world & why im still bad?
Sometime i wonder. looking out from the window where im sitting..
I feel bad. i hope i repent before its too late.
where is the old me? why the new attitude?
I dont blame anyone. butt myself.

Hey,phuket is cancel. haha!
Butt,turi beach here i come. :)

take a nap & i shall write a story.

2010-12-21T14:24:00.003+08:00

my patients taking a nap.
Lets be quick.
Bf,still havent txt me yet.
He kept doing things which i hate. Id.
Well,i really dun knw. When i get mad is so easy til i wana ask 4 a break bt,hey nt this time round. Y cant i be a lil mre patience? Hmm. Anyway we w0nt be long. Opps.
Let me tell u y i get mad. We've been arguing for 4 days now. 3days ago i was so desperate to bring him go dinner or maybe supper at lau pa sat bt,3 days gone. Idk where his whereabouts except telling me, "lavender" "bugis" with acomplish friend of mine. Tk ke irritating. I call he rejected. Okay fine its my fault for having the intention to overnight with my guy friend. My bad. So,i apologise yet...nt approved. "dont call me dear or b till u knw è limit of having a bf" wat e blare. I cancel it. Fine. He show attitude. I lost interest to go dinner with him & head home.
Best part, REACHING HOME,HAVE THE CHEEK TO ASK ME,"u dun want meet me?" funny ah.
U just dip urself in a hot soup! I cut the story short. Instead he did apologise bt i Was damn angry. I ignored. Ego.
Till then...my relationship will be like this. Sigh.
*watching harry potter & the sorceros stone* hee..

Plus when i need help no one was there and i mean ALL!

people see you suffer but not me.

2010-12-19T23:01:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum.

Baik, cantik. SUMER MAU PAITAO.

Heh,tkpe nasib ada si myanmmar nie.

Every single day, we argue,quarrel & misunderstand.

Wow,even convict also know the limit of crime.

Haiz,well yes im tired of this game but i love him.

I try to make him understand. butt,idk.

Well, yes i agree im short tempered hot tempered. Butt,y u always piss me?

Who im referring too? that guy over there in the picture..

Hmmm, to see we loved each other is only i dream for.

To fight every single day and ending in this kind of situation is always me.

coz,within 5 month a total of 4 break up. REAL break up.

& the last one lasted me for 3 going 4 weeks. A month?

What more could i suffer?

There's no one i could share with this.

Deep down, yess we're good. butt,deep down. its HAUNTING me

Salah ke i pikir bukan2? salah i? haiz.

Got to sleep.

12 hours job is not easy aites.

task for 4 days. Fast cash. bye! :)

When the one you love hurt you..

2010-12-16T21:14:00.004+08:00

By,now you should see how strong my LOVE is to you..
If you still can't see, You're just a FOOL. i can say.

That morning really make me wake up.
OURS is going to be like our close friends.
But,i hope you wont lie like how it had always happen.
Cause,u'll see from yourself.

Im glad you didn't LIE.
Cause it only make it worse.
& after ol the shit i heard this morning, his FIRED.
Jobless. again. then. fight again. hmmmm,NO k.

B,iLOVEyou k. Cukup la dgn ape u da uat.
Tkkn i nk merana thru out this r'ship.
It's already rocky. i wouldn't want it to be as rocky as ever aites honey.
Just be like other guy. PLEASE.

Bangkok,ada chance macam tk jadi je from what i see. hmmm.

Back again as one.. took me 6hours to answer..

2010-12-15T00:00:00.003+08:00

Long day & it's tiring.
This is not what i want butt,i MISS him.
So,yarh. The promises i made not to be with him its like..haiz.
Okay, we're back together. & NOW i have difficulties telling my mum that. How?
i feel bad when i dont tell.
Btw,its not easy seeing him admit my mistake to his friends.
Yes,abdil might be harsh butt its my fault i tell the 'secret' to ines.
I shouldn't have too....

*will be continue* bro's got to sleep..
ZzzzzZZzzzzzzZzzzzzz

Okay, again continue... time check 1357Hrs.

Hey,check the flights to Bangkok since abdil not tagging.

It's 300-400. Thanks la enh.

I'm stressed. how?

Oh,ya.. have not been working for 3 days.

Today going Gala dinner. haha. Gala...

Im bored. tired. Sleepy. Sleepy.

Decision make me wiser please.

2010-12-13T15:03:00.003+08:00

Talking to Dolphin Girl. Idiot la she. haha!

So, now what? to fall for you again?

Hey, i said NO seh. & i can't.

I wont let history repeat itself. Seriously!

Butt,i do still love you!

Hey,im missing you & ill meeting you later.

*ines is irritating* Otp with ines.

Bangkok BNANGKOK bangkok!!!

Hey,why should i say.

I want him but at the same time..

I think i should say what i want right

rather then i keep and hide my feeling..

Okay, i got nothing more to say.

Stress giler aku dibuatnyer..

Nie,ines pon satu not helping!!! id

WHY DID YOU CAME BACK?

2010-12-12T23:53:00.003+08:00

Darn! I'm confused! ILOVEHIM.

Butt,i really dint know which is the truth.

Plus,i made a promise not only to myself butt to my parents.

Hey,Cik Hana telling the truth or Husayn's lying?

I love him like mad la. Butt,i dont wanna live in this kind of situation.

I know what kind. Besides, i got to think far.

I've told him lets be friend. Wah,macam maner leh.

Wat, should i do.

I was left alone in a very tight situation.

Currently having my break so im not taking a nap butt blogging.

Heh, went to Arab st with a group og Aunts & nenek. HAHA!

Damn,grab few scarf and look for Jac's bridal gown. fuhhyo. Nice,i LIKE.

I was DAY DREAMING when she ask me to interpret what are they talking about.

Hey,i really miss having you around. Butt, y 3 weeks later?

When i could adapt with my life?

When I'm happy with my life.

3 weeks later much to explain. You must be happy with your life am i right?

Okay, i think i accused you too much & i make you ashamed.

Butt,yesterday after i met you i was heartbroken.

You're sooo thin. Y is it soo.? y did you skip meals?

Hey, didn't you eat? it bothers me.

We went back home together. Critic,sarcastic,argue & lastly I'm happy i got to see you.

Cute! There's once when we were talking i stare in to his eyes accidentally.

I'm like, " my china man!!! " *blush*

Butt,NOPE. not again. not falling for you.

I even said, "dear!!!!" Accidentally. & he smiled. ijustmisshavingyoubymuside.

ps: is it because that shes mad and create a nice one?

or is it because she want it to be with her... haha NICE ONE.

how,help. nk pertolongan boleh.

TRUST

2010-12-11T11:13:00.001+08:00

You know what? you shouldn't TRUST anybody in this world.

Especially the one you think you trust. Oh,GOD!

Husayn Ruhulluah,im sorry

2010-12-11T10:47:00.002+08:00

OH my GOD.

I've done a BIG silly mistake. & yes, i regret.

I never did this. Yes,pernah la busted butt not the love one.

Oh,my..........& now his full of disappointment. Gosh.

What should i do seyy..?

Ines,i don't blame you. I blame myself i should have known that...

Husayn Enuf with the MULTIPLES MISUNDERSTANDING alrites.

I know ur hurt,im hurt too.

I wouldn't want you back butt,i want us to be friend! Please,GOD send this messages.

Scold me if u want.

The day you CRITIC me..

2010-12-10T23:52:00.003+08:00

Got home after a Double shift. fuhhyo.

Got goody-goody news other then fighting & arguing with my Ex.

Well,i should be more happy larh. It's funny.

Butt,at the same time i feel scared larh. herm.

God,knows why. :)

InsyAllah,things will get better.

For,my relationship wise. Let,it be.

I'm happy to say im happy with my life.

Butt,i need you as my friend. If ur willing too.

Coz,im going to work near your house very soon. idk. *angan-angan*

Met gf, now no bf mah.

Reach hm, FB. haha.

It's a routine.

This 2 days is a chaotic day between me & my ex.

My fault. YES. as per normal. senyuuuuum.

INES MERINA BINTE KASMURI

2010-12-09T03:12:00.001+08:00

2010-12-08T20:52:00.001+08:00

aku ditikam dari belakang.

Oh,so pain. Heh!

CONFUSE i swear!

2010-12-08T09:11:00.004+08:00

DON'T JUDGE ME,OKAY. I'LL EXPLAIN WHY I PUT THE PICTURE!

Okay, yesterday told you met INES MERINA *loves* right?
She's somehow bring good luck lar!
Eating at Ah Mei cafe, Northpoint..
*vibrate* "Text message recieved: EX"
EX? Wth,it took him awhile to struck his head when's my birthday.
I was in a i-dont-know situation.
He asked: What do you want for your birthday present?
Gosh!!! WTH!
It took me minutes la to answer that question.
It's not as easy as you guys think..
I wanted to say, "US"... Butt,to think of him dating Farah. :(
Haiz,i took back my words & say,
"I don't need a birthday present. I got one from you & it hurts. Thanks,we're friends."
Just like that. & i was like...............Argh!
This is not EGO for god sake.
I don't wanna ruin people's relationship.
Yes, i think too much. But Cik Hana mention he's dating Farah.
What more could i do. IGNORE. Play around the bush. Act cool.
That's what i did. & ask him few more random question how's work,eaten? -.- DUMB.
Better than we act cold. No grudges remember. :)
Okay,last i want to add one more point.
LET MAKE THIS CLEAR.

We broke off i asked for a break. Fair enuf. (who asked you to play with fire)
Butt,he said the reason to Cik Hana which i could not accept it is.. he said I lied. I'm a LIAR.
Wth, it was a total misunderstanding laaaaaaaaaaa. tk fair nyerrrr.

Okay, i'm a private Nurse. Private nursing is usally always ON CALL.
So,i was doing 1 to 1 case. turn out my patient whom i date for 12 hours on my birthday not spending it with my ex, eventually his working full too, DISCHARGE on the following day, MONDAY. Yes,he wanna meet me on that Monday. Again i joke. i see how. Butt,at the same time i told Johnathan i wana take leave on MONDAY,which he APPROVED without telling me.
There,you see now? Okay, it didnt end there....
I was otw to work they called saying i don't need to come,he'll be discharge tomorrow & doctor want to observe him without private nurse. Butt, this CLEVER Johnanthan send another staff there. oh my. So,i was out & it'll be speechless to see i'm home again.
So,went to fetch huny INES MERINA. Intention was to send her to work and just stroll around changi. Butt,this INES MERINA was so adorable she took MC and there we go spending a day out. Then,it was afternoon getting bored. Called this MR SPARKLING. He ended work at 3pm.
Just nice. bought food fetch him. We didn't plan. We don't even know he wants to tour us around Resort world. Haiz, Despite feeling hungry we tour with our sweating & sticky armpits. haha! eeeew! Okay, then 6pm going 7pm i rush to workplace to meet the caregiver, but SPARKLING didn't tag along. He go and meet HUSAYN & MAT. So,there it start & become worse. This is just A part of the story. Haiz... :(

I NEVER LIE.NEVER INTEND TOO. BUT WAS ACCUSED OF LYING,ACHE.

Okay, back to MY story. My blog.
Ended Night shift. Work was okay. Siti is pretty. :) Not me,the one i worked with.
Why is it when i do night duties i feel abit dumb, or is it im distracted by him?
1st night: Terlajak sampai Admiralty. heee.:)
2nd night: Send Ines to work then don't know y i get down at serangoon take another bus get down at Serangoon again.
3rd night: Get down at khatib thinking it was Yishun then wait for 811 two 811 past me i stare but didnt get on the bus. dumb. 30mins seh. 3rd bus i took & grumble. haha.
Hope no more silly move.
Total 5 nights! :)

ps: Btw,today adik coming home. hee. For sure she will disturb me! :)

A new BLOG a neew ME,i guess.

2010-12-07T18:39:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum! That's ME!

Should i be proud? haha. CUTE.

Well,i changed my blogs up to four or 5 itmes. hee.

That's me. never stick to one. But,im a passionate lover.

Okay, another reason is that i just broke off with this guy, HUSAYN RUHULLAH.

Wth,waited for him & still leave me. Okay,i asked for break up! *peace*

NO more love stories. Doink!

Still looking for a job. Currently doing private nursing.

Can say its tiring. Should have stay with my old job.

Butt,nah i dun regret.

They,dont know why. & i shall not say coz when i say i dont do it.

butt,when i dont ill strive to do till i achievce it.

Still, got to pay for my Bike's insurance,Oh ILOVEYOU.

U,make me..aww..

Today im off. rotting at home like no ones business.

feel like meeting INES MERINA, oh ya thats my bestie.

Altough i ever bitch about her (i bitch coz its the fact),she's still my heart beat.. :)

& i told her too. & i regret due to boys,stupid boys.

Hey,meeting her soon.

She's going to drive me around, butt it's Raining.

Low self esteem girl. But,i LOVE her. boost ur self esteem la gerl!!!

*Suara ku berharap playing... *